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Close Late…Open Early

I was on one of my commutes to work at 5 am or so and made it into the parking lot of my routine QT stop. I went inside, and poured my Mountain Dew from the fountain, a 24 oz Italian Roast coffee, and a pack of Marlboro Mediums. I told the clerk to have good remainder of his shift and went outside. At 5:30 am it’s dark outside. The roads are fairly quiet. I put my beverages inside the car and proceed with my normal smoke standing outside the car.

Considering there isn’t a whole lot going on at this time of morning, I am particulary drawn by the newer bright flashing marquee of coffee shop/pharmacy (I could never figure out this joint venture myself). The interior lights are off, but my guess was that with the amount of juice this marquee was using, there wasn’t a whole lot left for anything inside. I began paying closer attention to the words racing and flashing across the display…

“Close Late (flash flash flash)”

Followed by a scrolling “Open Early”.

I looked at my watch. 5:25 am. The first thought through my head was Evidently not…

I really thought about this for awhile. Close late….open early….yet, I missed it. I was standing outside of business that clearly chose the wrong hours to have such a small window of time set aside to matter. I went back to my car and took out my cup of coffee, raised it in a toast to the misadvertised shop. I could have probably bought better coffee there. I opted for what was open when i needed it…and I saved $2 over what it would have cost if I would have been there during their larger window of intended advertising hours.

If one were to take a look around and notice some of the signs we have dealt with for literally generations, you may notice flukes and some questionable content onsigns that leave a lot of room for open interpretation. The ones that come to mind:

“XYZ Company Parking Only. Violators will be towed at owner’s expense.”

The way I read this is that if you park in this lot and are not affiliated with this company, your car will be towed and the owner of the company (or property management) will pay for your towing expenses. So, exactly how is this a deterrant?

 “Off Limits”

I have pondered this one for years. I know what it means. But when you really break it down into two words, it really says that there are no limits. There are no lines to be crossed, no gray areas…you are free to roam without restrictions beyond these doors. I don’t get it.

“No first payment…”

I am waiting to see someone take this one and run with it. This one is usually seen or heard with car dealerships advertisements. Also sometimes included is a “no last payment”. Here’s the problem with this one. When I go to the dealer and buy the car…their intention is that you can skip your first payment and just start with your second payment. The way it is advertised tells me that I will never have to make a car payment on that car…ever. It doesn’t matter if they want me to start with the 2nd payment, the 6th  payment or the 24th payment. If the 2nd  payment is the first of that series…well, according to that ad, I don’t have to make it. If I skip the 1st two months and now have the third month due…it would still be the first…and again, according to the ad, I don’t have to send it because it’s the first payment.

Check back on the post sometimes, as I will add more to it as I find them…or remember them.

Categories: Rants
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